Passion Flakie

Good evening reader. Today was another pointless, aimless, schoolless day.

I showed a friend this blog and they asked me why I made it. I figured I had explained it well enough, but apparently not. Let me tell you the true story behind No Voicebox.



I was sitting at my computer, drunk on power, and blinded in the dull flickering light on my dirty basement. I put out my cigarette on my forearm, and crushed my beer can on my head. My cat was moaning about not being fed for a week, so I threw my monitor at him. After I replaced my monitor, and shook off my hangover, I logged on to blogger, moved my mouse over the "Create a Blog" button, and said to myself in a wacky British accent, "Why the hell not, mate?"

With that, I made my blog, and buried my cat. And here we are. THAT'S HOW IT REALLY HAPPENED



I wanted to avoid working one day, so I got an armful of cardboard and started doing laps of the sales floor. My boss came up to me after about an hour of that and asked, "David, what are you doing with that cardboard?" I looked at her for a second, and thinking quickly I responded, "Foo boo magoo!" With that I threw my armful of cardboard at her and ran away. I bet she's still standing there. Standing there thinking, what the hell...what the hell? -A story


"Oh Dave, you got a bird?" "Yep." "What's his name?" "Bird." "That's not very creative." "Bird doesn't like you." -What I SHOULD have said


"I closed the car door on my hand." -A detailed retelling of the saddest story ever told



Some people look at it this way: I paid $60 for Crackdown, and the Halo 3 Beta is a bonus.

Some people look at it this way: I paid $6o for the Halo 3 Beta, and Crackdown is a bonus.

I look at it this way: Crackdown sucks the big one.


"Crackdown is one of those games that makes you want to play another game." "What game?" "The game where you put a gun to your head, and see how many times you can pull the trigger before you die." -Someone much wiser than I


"Miiiiiniiiii....wheats wheats wheats..." -Spontaneus Nate


"And with that, everyone took off on their pogo sticks." -The climax of a thrilling story


"Strawberries are just...oh my God...perfection." -Anonymous Strawberry Enthusiast


"What's the worst part about losing your legs in the war, Grandpa?" "...not being able to walk, you ignorant little prick!" -An undesirable grandfather


"War is a terrible thing...just terrible." "So is fast food." -Brilliant. Just Brilliant.


"Done and done" -Dave on finishing